I could use some goodnews today.
I am despaired by the drowning effect of dogmatism. In the polarized community that I am in, there is an endless quest of ‘winning over’ others. The quest of putting together the winning team. ‘Synagogues’ of the ‘jews’ of today vigorously pass out the antidote to our messiness and our lostness. I am baffled by the breathtaking ‘solutions’ that seem to be a real high calling. But I despise the refusal of these solutions to embrace part of my ‘gentile-ness’. Simple goodness and kindness is insufficient. The real answer lies in the race to the finishing line. And all claimed to know where that line lies. In fact while the need to decide the line becomes the central issue, the struggle to embody sincere kindness becomes secondary, sometimes trivialized and worse, forgotten.
How can an average ‘gentile’ like me fit into this whole system? The finishing line is too distant for me to envision. For now, I have my ‘leprosy’ to deal with. In the darkest moments of loneliness, my body is dissolving into nothingness. I have the zealots telling me to go wage war for my liberation. I have my teachers of the law who tells me that I have not gotten ‘certain’ things right- the exact prescription to still qualify me for the finishing line. I have Herod who tells me ‘resistance is futile’. And of course I have ‘pagans’ (who knows) who draws me to other ‘mysticisms’.
What would be the goodnews for me in this mess? If I would re-imagine a savior for this lostness of humanity who’d bring the message of salvation and redemption, what would that message be?
I am imagining, desperately hoping for the goodnews.
The Unbearable Heaviness of Being 
Hmm… you have these endless surprise of pagan and heathen friends. I oughta congratulate you, the diversity could help you evolve better 😉
I watched a bunch of Ted Haggard YouTube vids last night, it makes me kinda sad… the desperate attempt to keep membership in the community that drove one to lie, deceive and be liked… yet, lose our identity.
sometimes i am frustrated as well and i wish i can express as well as you can the way i feel. at least people will understand me but i’m just so lost for words … just like when i’m around my parents. i wonder what’s stopping me from speaking my mind sometimes. and yes, i think i know what you’re saying & a little of how you feel. but i have to admit that sometimes i’m frustrated because i’m stuck in between of “theology” & what i think “should be” (subjective). hmmm…?? 🙂
When sincerity is trivialised and yes, worst,if forgotten, it is indeed bad news. In the quest to build the “Kingdom of God” we often find people preaching “GO! make disciples of all nations!!” with an apostolic vision to nothing but multiplication…multiplication in the number of disciples ONLY (sorry, that was what i received; cos if love was preached, love was not seen n certainly not felt) … if they do mean the multiplication of love, of living the good news (whatever it is to them) then y am I sitting at the pews listening to them and yet find it such a war within to try to relate to seemingly empty words that were spewed out from what is to be the Holy Altar…are we worshipping the same God indeed? Good news was difficult news when I first received it yet it made me want to love my God….but good news seems conflicting now, sometimes sick news when….when…oh am I caught in the act of judging the very people whom they claimed are chosen by God to guide me??? but seriously, are they guiding me or confusing me…in their lightness are they bringing heaviness to me…in that case, I have to keep to this heaviness, avoid their lightness, seek God myself and go do what He wants me to do….for I believe there can’t be one finishing line…if they always preach about living out the purpose God has for each individual then surely God has a different finishing line for everyone…so there cant be one way of seeing things,one revelation for His Word, one way of living out the good news, one way of relating to God and His people, one way of discipling…what I am convinced for the moment is that if I am struggling so much with them then my finishing line must be different and therefore I have great comfort from departing from them the way I want to live my life with my God and His people…if at this point in my life I find great meaning to love people as best I can (still learning and failing)and many a times, I find good news from the people I learn to love…I c God in relating to His creations…good news gotto be both ways…otherwise good news would be self fulfilling news that turns bad, turns people further away from God…..but since I believe in different finishing lines, may I understand that they too love God and find great meaning in what they are doing…may I trust that God will continue to lead them in what is True….if I think they are in fact destroying lives and often bringing bad news, may I have the humility to understand that I too may have been unwittingly destructive without having my conscience pricked perhaps….so I try to understand that my heaviness has a reason that can turn to good news….
Hey justy,
so glad to hear from you again.
I think some of us unconsciously lose our identity as we get sucked into the overwhelming meta-story. I did and I think I’m still trying to recover bits of it.
The finishing line seem a lil too far to be seen at the moment I guess. Sometimes it can be a real frustration to have people around us who seem to know where the finishing line is and ways to move towards it. At the same time, I suppose we ourselves are caught in that same position most of the time. Defining the finishing line the best our imagination could bring us into. I felt that you being in a position where you have different kind of friends telling you their perspectives with some trying to “win” you over to their side is one that could help you see things in a bigger picture…not necessary the more accurate one.
And to be honest I’m encouraged to hear those desperation words of yours, longing for a Good News. I guess that’s probably why God came for the sick and seriously who’s not sick here?
The frustration, desperation, uncertainty….makes this whole journey becomes one that is more meaningful.
While we’re all on that quest trying to understand what the Good News is really all about and how is the finishing line look like actually…let us learn to lift one another up and be that support to one another, not trying to play that “hero” character all the time but by being who we really are inside.
Anyway nice blog…keep it up! hope I’m a friend that is sincere to you. take care!
Dear lil’ jennie
expressing oneself well may not necessarily ease one from frustration (in fact, it may ocassionally add more to it), at least that’s how I feel. 😛
lianghin
Dear whoami (hu-ah-mee),
i can only seek to find glimpses of the goodnews in this ‘heavy, heavy’ reality we are caught up in. And in silence, no words needed, no messages needed, certainly no winning-over needed, may we contemplate goodness, love goodness, and try goodness.
lianghin
Dear Se3keR,
I am careful not to allow our ‘meaningful journey’ to be drawn into a convenient cliche. We may need to unpack our ‘meaningful journey’ and help ourselves see how meaningful can meaningful really be.
Honestly, I don’t see myself being in a quest to understand the GoodNews (much less to share it), for it may be beyond me to do so. Deep inside, I could be just yearning for one to come along, take away the heavy burdens and hurdles which our answers put in the way, and say, ‘go try some charity, cancel-out debts, split your harvests..’
Thanks for being a sincere friend 🙂
lianghin